Well I went to the first class last week. We were all asked what meals we enjoyed from France. People came up with stuff I couldn't even say let alone cook. My favourite French meal is French Toast and even saying it as Francais Toasts does not make it sound anymore codrdon bleu. We were all asked what our current level of French is (I was tempted to do the Basil Fawlty 'I get by' response) but realised that apart from Va Va Voom, Wenger and Platini, my overall french is a little lacking to say the least. One of the English guys introduced himself as Jean Paul, now that is plain cheating, he has a French name, it is like learning to be a member of the mafia and finding out one of the students is called Don. In fact I did not detect one English sounding name apart from my own. One girl named Clarisse who is from Beccles (not the Longchamp of East Anglia by any means) started conversing with me in a broad Norfolk accent but spoke to me in broken English, I think she thought I was Russian or something. Anyway why do people think that broken English would be easier for a non speaking person than correct English? Anyway the first lesson was to ascertain our previous knowledge and if Mrs T hadn't once ordered snails I would have been special needs. Anyway you can learn any language up to the age of 7 and no language after the age of consent (by which time for most men speaking is an irrelevance). I have to say the French teacher is adjustment wel (or well fit as we say in Liverpool) so the view alone might be worth staying for a few more ouis. After French I will learn Spanish so I can tell Fernando Torres what I really think of him first language style.
Adieu Mes Amis
Jean Belle
Monday, 24 October 2011
Saturday, 8 October 2011
My evening at a Shakesperian society
Well I am new man, I am man of the new millenium, I want to taste from every menu before I die so I thought I would visit the local Shakesperian society. A chance to debate Shakespeare at a deep level and see if his contribution still holds validity in today's multi media must be now society.
You will see from that last sentence that my visit has caught me up with the pretentious twaddle I had to endure during an evening that seemed to last 10 years. Here are some of the gems I vaguely remember, Mary a retired Head teacher who looked like she had spent her lump sum retirement pension on a super charged bottle of botox said about Macbeth ' I feel Lady Macbeth's hand holds the whole tragedy deep within her, when we see the spot we are reminded of the state of her soul' Yeah right love I bet your staff meetings were a laugh a minute. Francis (he was a bloke but only just) discussed Comedy of Errors with the peach' the true skill of Shakespeare was that he knew what didn't make us laugh and this was his starting point' Yeah Frankie boy and you have certainly gained that skill. Peter a retired fireman said of Romeo and Juliet'It is a bit crap as I think the only love story that is longer is the titanic' Nice one Pete, in fairness I think he was there for the free biscuits, although I swear Mary was hoping for a fireman's lift. My own viewpoint was on establishing the merit of the writer in the first place. His literacy is not even guaranteed as he spent most of his time in Stratford upon Avon and name me 2 other writers they have produced, yes northerners and high level writing are a juxtaposition i am not yet completely comfortable with. Then of course we need to find out which bits he wrote, there is a train of thought that JK Rowling is a modern day Shakespeare and even my dog is now claiming that Harry Potter was his idea, he allegedly got it whilst penning an advert for Pedigree chum. The whole evening was just a battle to see how many words people could come up with that no-one else understood. In fairness I didn't understand much of what Peter said and he rarely ventured from the 4 letter venacular. The problem with these evenings is that it is not about dissemination of a worthy subject but simply point scoring on faux intelligence, and that I can see on QI anytime I want. I won't go back unless they are going to discuss The Merchant of Venice because after I have bopped Mary one on her pretentious botox face I will try to convince her about the quality of mercy not being strained and all that. Anyway Shakespeare a national treasure? Yeah well like most treasures he is buried and is only dragged up in the interests of irrelevance.
John
You will see from that last sentence that my visit has caught me up with the pretentious twaddle I had to endure during an evening that seemed to last 10 years. Here are some of the gems I vaguely remember, Mary a retired Head teacher who looked like she had spent her lump sum retirement pension on a super charged bottle of botox said about Macbeth ' I feel Lady Macbeth's hand holds the whole tragedy deep within her, when we see the spot we are reminded of the state of her soul' Yeah right love I bet your staff meetings were a laugh a minute. Francis (he was a bloke but only just) discussed Comedy of Errors with the peach' the true skill of Shakespeare was that he knew what didn't make us laugh and this was his starting point' Yeah Frankie boy and you have certainly gained that skill. Peter a retired fireman said of Romeo and Juliet'It is a bit crap as I think the only love story that is longer is the titanic' Nice one Pete, in fairness I think he was there for the free biscuits, although I swear Mary was hoping for a fireman's lift. My own viewpoint was on establishing the merit of the writer in the first place. His literacy is not even guaranteed as he spent most of his time in Stratford upon Avon and name me 2 other writers they have produced, yes northerners and high level writing are a juxtaposition i am not yet completely comfortable with. Then of course we need to find out which bits he wrote, there is a train of thought that JK Rowling is a modern day Shakespeare and even my dog is now claiming that Harry Potter was his idea, he allegedly got it whilst penning an advert for Pedigree chum. The whole evening was just a battle to see how many words people could come up with that no-one else understood. In fairness I didn't understand much of what Peter said and he rarely ventured from the 4 letter venacular. The problem with these evenings is that it is not about dissemination of a worthy subject but simply point scoring on faux intelligence, and that I can see on QI anytime I want. I won't go back unless they are going to discuss The Merchant of Venice because after I have bopped Mary one on her pretentious botox face I will try to convince her about the quality of mercy not being strained and all that. Anyway Shakespeare a national treasure? Yeah well like most treasures he is buried and is only dragged up in the interests of irrelevance.
John
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