The School play is going well

Well we are 4 weeks away from the school play. I was going to adapt blood brothers but there was just too much nervousness on whether we could pull that one off. However I have adapted Charlie and the Chocolate factory, this was a good choice as I have created 28 different parts and better still my Jessica loves it and that is a good enough reason to do it in my opinion. Now there are advantages and disadvantages in working with 11 year old untrained actors. The main advantage is that bad habits are easy to iron out, they do as they are told and they bow down to your supposed knowledge on all things theatrical. The disadvantages is their need to go the toilet just as you are making progress, the volume control that is always up in class is lowered for some strange reason on the stage and finally unlike professional actors they are always being called up for catch up, 1-1 tuition and every child a reader initiatives. That said I am pleased with what I have seen so far. I have taken some well known songs and adapted them and the end results are quite amusing. The other lovely thing about plays and children is that you suddenly discover talents that had remained hidden for the best part of the year. It has been fun getting my Augustine Gloop to perfect her German accent (we couldn't get a boy and by the way I have no idea if Augustine is a girl's name) The accent is coming along although at times it is a mix betwen Adolf Hitler and Windsor Davies. My Veruca Salt is a diamond and even though I love acting I know that this girl at her age is a million miles ahead of me when I was 11. (hope she does not read this blog as I expect she'll get a big head) At the moment I am burying myself in my work and forgetting the less pleasant parts of my life (the recovery of a single man is like malt whisky,,,A slow process) So if you are in Thetford on the 19th of July and would like to see my latest offering just let me know, I will reserve you some VIP seats.

Yours in Luvvy

John

The problems with mornings

People often say 'ooh I'm not really a morning type of person'. Well in my experience those miserable gits aren't usually an any time of day person and enjoy drinking from their half empty cups. If you asked them to read the following 'funisnowhere' they would read fun is nowhere, yet I read it as fun is now here and as you know the devil is always in the detail. Anyway that put aside the morning does have a few deficiencies. Well the first major problem is that it always follows the night. Now I have never had alcohol in my life so I do not know the feeling of getting drunk the night before but I have seen it plenty enough during my time as a compere in holiday clubs. Well the next morning it does not look pretty I can assure you, and I believe that even after a shower in the morning the effects can stay with you for pretty much the rest of the day, however morning is always the worst. I do hope that Jessica takes after her dad in the drinking respect as there are much more interesting things to do with the money you earn. Also breakfast food is pretty dull if you compare it to meals at other times of the day. Yes a fry up is a tasty option, but reading the previous part of the blog I don't think many hair of the doggers would fancy that. So in the main it is a quick bowl of wood shavings (known as cornflakes to you and I) and a bit of toast. Now what makes this even more unsavoury is that it is often eaten on the run. Can you imagine doing yourself a lovely meal with a glass of red and running around packing papers and looking for shoes when eating, and then finishing it as you walk out the door? Of course not but this can be an outcome for many breakfasts. Also our moods are effected at breakfast time and I am sure there are more arguments at this time than say in the evening when the daily grind has ben completed. This is worse during the winter when it is dark when we leave, and hope escaped at about the same time as the last remanants of summer. Of course these negative descriptions only tend to apply to people with a job or a career, if you don't have to get up till 11 because you are lazy, rich, feckless, drunk (please delete as appropriate) then you will never have a clash with the pessimsm of morning. Myself I feel great this morning, so much so that I found the time to blog, and if I was to simply dismiss all the mornings of my life that would be 2 hours x 365 which would be 730 hours, times that by 45 and that would be
over 30,000 hours, around about 150 days which would be the equivalent of dismissing 5 years of my life, so I shall remain sober, hopeful and a person who avoids cornflakes at all costs.Now I know today that fun is now here, just need to find it.


Good Morning to you

John

Facebooted

Well if you want to keep reading my rivetting(sic) blog you will have to come directly to my blog as I have given up on facebook for a while. One of the main reasons is that a re-invention of self is difficult to achieve if you tell your 139 friends 'I am currently washing my hair' Number 1 it is a meaningless update and number 2 you should not be using an electrical appliance when pouring water over your head. Also when I am on facebook I have the annoying misfortune of finding things out that I did not want to know. You find out that the girl you quite liked is a Manchester United fan and then any desire to romance her has gone. I have been on a few dates this month (amazingly with the same person) and she does not use facebook so I thought it unfair to mention her on a social networking site that she does not frequent. Obviously mentioning it on here is only 1 tiny step better, but my intention was well meaning. I am sure I will be missed on facebook for my cutting wit and deep phrases that add meaning to everyone's day, however moving on can sometimes mean moving away from things that have become habit and not a particularly healthy one come to think of it. I would imagine that since I joined I have been on facebook for the equivalent time of 6months. That is a lot of time for innane nonsense. I am sure there will be a campaign to bring me back but my mind is totally made up. I shall miss being poked, friended, farmville requested etc but the time has come to be part of my own individuality again and not part of a network that relies upon the sheep like mentality to keep its founders the billionaires they crave to be. So bye bye FB it was good whilst it lasted but I now feel a verse of born free coming on.


John

Joined the tennis club

I have just started playing at the local tennis club. Now the three things you need to satisfy membership are 1) Being almost a 100 years old, 2) Stubbornly middle class and 3) being able to make up scores that do not exist, for example if you lead 40-15 you must say 40-5 or you will be the equivalent of an academic from Rochdale. So apart from number 1, I am struggling to meet the criteria. Another annoying thing was having to change my personality. I was playing against someone who I think had personal experience of the dinosaurs and his eyes were not as good as they once were. Well he called out most of my shots and I had to smile in a failed middle class sort of way. Anyone who has played any game with me will know that my desire to win goes through every pore in my body. But I was trying to make a good impression so I just smiled politely throughout. It was also really difficult as each of my playing partners were introduced to me but then I found out they had nicknames that only long standing club members knew. One guy had a nickname of boule (do not ask me why) however I referred to him as Boo and I don't think I will be partnering him again. My second partner played his backhand down the line on a deuce point whilst talking on his mobile. Shocked I turned to look at him on his mobile and then missed an easy overhead smash,well he was not impressed and such was his disgust he interrupted his phone conversation to tell me so. Anyway when they asked me my name I felt inadequate with only a name of John as I felt that I should have a nickname like thunder serve or something equally sad. I stuck to John but most of the time they referred to me as Don (well when they weren't talking on the phone) overall I played ok and at the end we all went off for drinks. This is not entirely accurate as they went back to Boo's house and I was sadly not invited, allegedly scouse tennis players and unsecure 5 bedroom detached houses don't offer a perfect mix. Maybe next time.

John