Joined the tennis club

I have just started playing at the local tennis club. Now the three things you need to satisfy membership are 1) Being almost a 100 years old, 2) Stubbornly middle class and 3) being able to make up scores that do not exist, for example if you lead 40-15 you must say 40-5 or you will be the equivalent of an academic from Rochdale. So apart from number 1, I am struggling to meet the criteria. Another annoying thing was having to change my personality. I was playing against someone who I think had personal experience of the dinosaurs and his eyes were not as good as they once were. Well he called out most of my shots and I had to smile in a failed middle class sort of way. Anyone who has played any game with me will know that my desire to win goes through every pore in my body. But I was trying to make a good impression so I just smiled politely throughout. It was also really difficult as each of my playing partners were introduced to me but then I found out they had nicknames that only long standing club members knew. One guy had a nickname of boule (do not ask me why) however I referred to him as Boo and I don't think I will be partnering him again. My second partner played his backhand down the line on a deuce point whilst talking on his mobile. Shocked I turned to look at him on his mobile and then missed an easy overhead smash,well he was not impressed and such was his disgust he interrupted his phone conversation to tell me so. Anyway when they asked me my name I felt inadequate with only a name of John as I felt that I should have a nickname like thunder serve or something equally sad. I stuck to John but most of the time they referred to me as Don (well when they weren't talking on the phone) overall I played ok and at the end we all went off for drinks. This is not entirely accurate as they went back to Boo's house and I was sadly not invited, allegedly scouse tennis players and unsecure 5 bedroom detached houses don't offer a perfect mix. Maybe next time.

John