I can't put any weight on.

Well prior to being the unworkable telemac model I weighed in at around 15 stone. Even at 6 foot 2 I'd say that is too heavy. Well the end of any relationship makes people look inwardly and I simply decided that enough was enough and I decided to divorce my second chin from my first one. I was sick of being next to people in a room no matter where I sat. People looked at my stomach and you could see there first desire was to throw a baby shower for me. Well how was I going to lose it? Well the divorce diet is always good for half a stone but I needed to lose more. So I attended the gym 3 times a day from Jan-March (The lady at reception noticed my obsession and asked if I was training for the marathon, I was a bit embarrassed so I meekly said yes) Rowing, running and cycling for 2 and a bit hours each day saw 15.2 become 11.12 in three months. I was pleased with my efforts and glad to know that now when I tell a joke people don't think it is an impression of the late Bernard Manning. Anyway I decided after going below 12 stone I would concentrate on weights and stomach exercises. This is going well but I am trying to add just a few pounds to my weight to help the bulking up process. Now Pre telemac days I could look at a twix and get 7 pounds weight no problems. Now I can eat 6 of them and lose 3 pounds. Instead of weight watchers, maybe I could go to weight ignorers and simply high five all the other skinnies when we manage to put on five ounces. I am now too scared to run outside as I feel I might fall down a drain or simply disappear if the run is too long. So if you have a bit of excess going spare please give it to me a deserving cause. I know if I get a serious date she might want something to grab hold of and at the moment it would be like a leg of chicken rejected by Nandos. I even have fat dreams. Oh how my life has changed ;-)


John Bell