Questions I need answers to (before I die)

There are many important questions in this life, Who am I? What is the meaning of Life? What is the point of caviar? All with a resonance but there are other questions I need answers to.

1) Where exactly was Gene Pitney when he was 24 hours from Tulsa?
2) Why can't the Royal family go for a quiet registry do this summer to show the masses they understand the credit crunch?
3) Why do people pretend to understand modern art?
4) When was the 1812 Overture written?
5) Why are crisps called chips, but you never ask for fish and crisps?
6) Why do Tescos only reduce food at 3am when no-one is shopping.
7) Why do Judges give out life sentences with a recommendation the person serves 4 years (even the average sparrow lives a life longer than that)
8) Why do Millions read the Sun, yet a funny and irreverant PHD (is that a contradiction in terms) is read by only a handful (I have to say I skimmed Mrs T's and it was jolly good)
9) Why did Doris Stokes claim she could speak to dead people, but the lazy cow hasn't spoken to one medium since she died?
10) Why was George Bush allowed to call himself Junior when he was well over 50?
11) Why is racial discrimination an offence and regional discrimination a hobby?
12) Why is everyone an expert teacher because they went to school, yet most people who have been to hospitals don't claim to be expert surgeons?
13) Why was Ben Elton considered funny because he shouted a lot?
14) Why is it wrong to consider men as being superior to women as women want equality (and let us be honest you wouldn't want to be equal with something inferior to you)
15) Why are scousers at universities presumed to be the caretaker?
16) Why do atheists talk about their partners as their 'soulmates' ?
17) Why do so many people not believe in God but always know his name?
18) Why did all these questions bar one begin with why?
19) Why does the start of procul harum sound like Percy Sledge and when a man loves a woman?
20) Why did they call Yarmouth Great?