Wednesday 23 March 2011

Help I am becoming a woman

The last 4 months has seen a re-evaluation of many parts of my life. Even the John Bell ego is not totally shatter proof (and I know there are many who will find that hard to believe) so I have decided over the last few months to use male improvement products (now that sounds like a poor term) anyway I invested in a good after shave. This is no small achievement as my first dip into the after shave pool was Hi Karate when I was 14 and I put it everywhere, and I mean everywhere. The end result was I created a 100 yard exclusion zone around me that no female would dare go near. Now later in life I have taken to moisturising twice a day. Now these people who create these products for men certainly know the male ego. They do not mention the wrinkle term but allude to expression lines. Now I have to say I think it works as I like what I see in the mirror, (in truth I have always liked what I see in the mirror.) Now I am concerned that I have created a male product beauty monster. I have considered the effect of using 'guy liner' and manscara, a step too far you think? Well I have taken too many steps and once your humiliation is complete one more step makes little difference. The whole situation has given me an understanding of women and bathroom time, so many products to dispense, so much time to spend re-creating myself. I am so afraid of this phase of my life that I am now scared to have thinking time to myself as I might start doing thinking like a woman ( John I don't mind what your thinking it's just the way you said it) Good heavens I go to bed at night worrying if I will still love myself in the morning. Being a man is difficult it really is, but it is not as time consuming and as mentally challenging as being a woman, I have seen the feminine track and I have to say it looks bumpy. Anyway does my blue shirt go with these black trousers, what do you mean yes, you didn't even look, you never listen to me and just for once turn off the football when I am blogging to you. Off to recreate

Joanna Bell

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha, sorry John, but your height is much more becoming of a man ;) Although I can see you as a woman it is the 'dress in drag and do the hula' kinda chick! SO please, my friend, metro-male perhaps, Joanna... maybe in your next life?

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  2. I just think I need to avoid boots (the chemist of course and not the slinky knee length variety) anyway I don't make the greatest man but I'd be a hopeless woman.

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