Thursday, 31 March 2011

If I wasn't a teacher what other job could I do

I often think what my third career is going to be. You know in the dark days of why do I spend most of my life with people 30 years younger than me, there is more to life than this moments. However I am fairly well paid, have a good pension and have what could be loosely defined as a career. However I am known for impulsive behaviour, so I have decided to consider the following jobs.

1) An astronaut, Pros- I love visiting strange places (I lived in Liverpool for nearly 20 years) I am not afraid of the dark, I have seen the film Armageddon over 20 times, I know where the moon is roughly. Cons- I am afraid of heights, I like gravity more than I like the idea of a lack of it, I would hate to live with 4 people I couldn't get on with and then couldn't escape from. Verdict-I can be an astronaut if I stayed on the ground, on my own with gravity all around me. So that is a no then.

2) A managing director of a bank-Pros- I have experience of spending other people's money. I like the idea of being bailed out in my job everytime I make a mistake. I like board metings, the person who does the buffet will never be disappointed with me. I like talking loud on a phone and shouting 'sell, sell, sell,. I like shouting at lesser paid people for no apparent reason. Cons-I find it difficult to manage a 100 quid a week of my own money so 400 million might be a problem. I don't know what HSBC stands for. I can't find my way around London. The term bail out sounds like jumping out of a plane that brings my height fears back to the front. Verdict- another no, as a reformed scouser I have more chance of robbing a bank than running one.

3) A premier League footballer. Pros- I could read the Sun if I was pushed. I always think i am right even when plainly wrong. I am comfortable stating the obvious (yes John if we had scored it would never have been 0-0) I watch football therefore I must be good at it (similar to yes I went to school therefore I know all the skills needed to be a teacher) I am happy to earn 100k a week for a 7 hour week.
Cons-I can't play football, I am like a woman as I am unclear on the offside rule, I never want to be as ugly as Rio Ferdinand and as thick as Gazza, so in answer no.

Oh well back to school for another 33 years. Life is so unfair but there is always Euro Millions.

John

2 comments:

  1. Ha ha, at least if you win those Euro millions you will not be one of those nutters who say "I'll still stay in my job and work a million hours a day even though I can retire on the interest of my winnings and live happily in paradise for the rest of my life!"?

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  2. Well Jane if I win you are on the select list of millionaires I will make. Their are others who I will reward by buying them a ticket in the next draw. I will retire and start smoking 50 pound notes because I can.

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