Separation anxiety

As a teacher of not insignificant experience I know all about this and indeed I have seen it at first hand. The child who can not let go of a parent's hand, a child that makes a bolt for the door in the same direction as mum, a child who can't settle down and is tearful when they realise that for the next 6 hours (a lifetime in the small world of a child) mum or dad will not be around. My reaction to that has always been 'you need to be firm', 'child must get used to it'. 'come on it is not for ever'. These are not useful reactions as a young child does not yet have the emotional capabilities to engage any of these strategies.

Well call it Karma or whatever there is a boy suffering from separation anxiety and that boy is me. Prior to the model crashing in my relationship I have never really been away from Jessica for a day really. When Mrs Telemac attended conferences Jess tended to stay with me. Throughout her first 9 years I read a story to her every night (thinking at the time I was helping her, but now realising that she was helping me) Just hearing her voice around me was a re-assuring sound that only now I realise the value of that particular currency. For those who know Jess and think she is quiet, that is not the case when we are together, she is loud, she loves imaginary characters, she loves the world of play and make believe and in that way she had the perfect father as I inhabit an almost identical world.
Now I see that the first part of the holiday she will be with her mum (and I am glad of that because they have a fantastic relationship) but now I must inhabit my world that is not Jessica, that is not the Faraway tree, that is not snakes and ladders. How does it feel? Freedom and a chance to do stuff for myself? Not at all, more like a prison sentence and Jess's visit is the key to let me free. It is now I appreciate the gift that is Jessica, I appreciate every story I read to her, every silly joke we laughed, every den we hid under and know that when she comes to me in the second half of the holiday I will be like the 5 year old finally returned to the family fold after 6 hours of agony.

Separation anxiety? it doesn't even come close to describing it.